It's a long essay, maybe too long. I'm not sure if criticizing these institutions and this sort of culture this way does anything, in the short term anyway, but it was a good way to organize some of my thoughts, and at least nobody's tried to cancel me over it so far. https://cinematimshel.substack.com/p/ideologically-out-of-line-and-insufficiently
I feel in basic agreement with a lot of what you've expressed, but I have two notes of feedback. First I think you need focus. Second I think you need to be brutally honest about the value-choices you face. First, I have to comment on your presentation. I think you know (from both the length of the essay and the length of your feature-length film) that you have a problem with being concise. This problem is going to consume more and more of your work as you struggle to get noticed. I urge you to think about the microblog-sized TL;DR for everything you release. Nietzsche had to do the same -- you can get a lot of thematic inspiration by looking at the chapter on Nietzche's Method in Walter Kaufman's book Philosopher, Psychologist, Antichrist. Now maybe the mention of Nietzsche is too much -- you are, after all, taking pains to defend yourself from charges of wh*te n*tion*lism. I don't think you are a wh*te n*tion*list based on what I've seen. However, I think that you are screwing yourself with your rhetorical framing. You frequently use extreme dichotomies between one position and another -- these do not serve you. Instead, I would URGE you to frame the scenario by looking at tipping-point cases. The really nice thing about looking at marginal cases is that you don't have to do a bunch of apologizing for the ideas you're entertaining. (Much of this essay is like the famous tweet about a "'not involved in human trafficking' t-shirt" -- you put yourself in a situation where the author doth protest too much.) The richest, most interesting part of this essay is where you go through the list of gimmicks you considered to get ahead. Zoom in on that. Focus on the places (either for you or for others) where people are moving forward or backward in this game by inches, and let those cases illustrate the bigger dichotomy. People will be able to see the larger stakes if you are honest and clear about the tipping points. Second, I have to talk about the basic situation that you're describing. I think you're basically experiencing a conflict in your values. You want to be an excellent artist, you want to be successful, and you want to be on the "right side" (by being even purer and more just than the people who are famously interested in justice). My advice to you boils down to the dichotomy of control. Some of these things are within your control and some aren't. If the problem is as insurmountable as you say, then give up and stop wasting your time. However (and I think you lean this way) if this problem is workable, then you need to lean in and find a way. In that case, you need to think about what your priorities are. You need to spend a little time thinking through what you would be willing to sacrifice to what else. If you had to choose between being a "good guy" and seeing some rewards for your filmmaking, what would you choose? If you had to choose between your artistic authenticity and getting along with others, what would you choose? And (remember how I was attacking dichotomous thinking?) these dichotomies aren't absolute, but instead are going to be things that you face at the margins -- an ounce of X in exchange for a pound of Y. So as you find points where your values are in conflict, think about the things that are within your control, and think about the amounts, proportions, or degrees of compromise you're willing to make. Or else if compromise is a dirty world, then give up because you're too pure for this world.
I don't think I know enough about your world of film to offer any practical tips. Nevertheless it seems to me, an outsider, like you could do one or any of the following: - wait it out -- maybe, by chance, everything that you need to change will change in your favor without your intervention - give in -- do one of the sell-out gimmicks you described. - start your own thing -- connect with other cool filmmakers, artists, musicians who are on the indie grind and try to find something agreeable through your common struggle. maybe that will be a collab, a cool website, or a festival... maybe it will just be camraderie and mutual affirmation - make art about this -- you could make a film about other people who are on the fringes of this current moment and who are struggling to sustain their artistic integrity. That might be worth watching.
Oh, and another thing I want to point out is that if you're going to explore your values or new options, I think you'll need to find some smaller experiments than feature-length films. I don't need to tell you how much a feature-length film is a huge bet on a risky proposition. You don't need to take out any more mortgages for such bad odds. Instead you need to make a bunch of small bets and test out different options. You should first see where you can trade an ounce of X for a pound of Y, and then if you can live with that you should try to trade 2 ounces for 2 pounds, 10 for 10, and so on. But start with smaller bets.
I agree fully with >>840 >>841 >>842 You seem a bit obsessional. It seems like you have a tendency to interpret rejection only through this lens of DEI, causing you to overcorrect in a way that encourages the audience to view you in that manner. I don't know what the standard is like in cover letters, but you literally said "neo-McCarthyite" and that there was a longer form of this letter somewhere. Whether you're a man, woman or trans crossdresser, you will never have control over other people's reactions to you. You do have control over your reactions to their reactions. Even if you have suspicions, expressing them in this manner can only hurt you. Find other ways to cope with your emotions.