where we can talk about our problems and goals and encourage each other?
ok, you first
Cringe is stupid as an adjective. Just use the word embarrassing instead. Way more stupid is being concerned about embarrassment on an anonymous internet board. It suggests you have wrapped way too much of your identity up in both what other people think and the internet. I would suggest meditation for ego reduction and clear insight into the insubstantial nature of things. For the shitty vocabulary, read some classic literature. If you need more self improvement advice, don't be afraid to ask.
I'm aiming to start writing actually nice once summer hits. For a long time I've hated ever looking back on my writing/doing a second draft, but I think this is ths time to dig into wroting as *writing* independent of content. I've collected a whole bunch of snippets that I really like and am gonna try learning from/emulating them
>>1473 You would need to know its initial size and whether or not I meditate to know that. Unfortunately, there is no fix for stupid. I'm afraid you're stuck with it. My advice would be to try to imitate a kind of ersatz intelligence with hard work and kindness.
Ah fuck wrong post. See, I can admit mistakes.
>>1473 >It suggests you have wrapped way too much of your identity up in both what other people think and the internet. I read it as a gracious question: "does this agree with the idea we have of this board or is this just me?" >>1475 Some years ago I was one in the "I want to write" club of people that never writes. I forced myself to journal everyday (even for one word) + dream journal (even if it was "forgot my dream"). Eventually, it did make all other forms of writing easier. That said, I almost never look back at what I wrote in those journals (except to check if I have already visited a place in a dream). I don't remember who advised to barf whatever you have on your mind on the page in the morning, so you can go on writing later in the day unencumbered by idiocies. To me the journals are like that: get rid of the nonsense in my head, go on with my day and proper writing.
I would like to eat enough food and exercise regularly to fuel my brain.
>>1485 I'm always surprised at hostility that flares up on this board. I have no idea how anyone brings any ego to this board, and yet here we have >>1473 >>1480 and >>1481 . Like... why bother with any of this on /pt/? >>1465 (OP) As to the original Q, yes. I think that authentically learning and self-developing is basically the only thing that pulls life all together into a workable form. There's always skill-building to be done to adapt to a world that's perpetually changing. Perpetually learning and adapting means that you live a life that is perpetually deepening and intensifying in significance and meaning.
>>1519 Conversely, you don't have to jump down people's throats over innocuous conversation. Yet you choose to. It's all elective. Don't act like the whiny egotistical tone of your posting is any more or less legitimate than the tone of anyone else in this thread.
Has anyone tried learning mathematics from zero? I have the (tested) math skills of a 6th grader. Shame hasn't proven to be motivational enough by itself. I just find no passion for it, to be honest; although middle-school maths aren't very engaging to begin with. I took a PreCalculus course a few years ago which was relatively challenging and rewarding. I would like to tackle a similarly challenging topic, although it would probably go over my head without covering the basics (which I find no motivation to study.) Here lies my problem. I guess this is more a self-pitying post than one seeking advice. Regardless, any is welcome.
If you don't care for something or if it's not interesting to you, why give it a second thought? There is an ulterior motive here somewhere. Perhaps you have others in your life that are mathematically knowledgeable and that makes you feel insecure? Or you want the satisfaction of being a well-rounded renaissance millennial?
Wolfram is still the GOAT by the way, to answer the question.
>1535 It's a mix of what you mention: insecurity and wanting to be well-rounded. I would also like to think of myself as a "smart person." My ego was (is) bruised pretty badly when I realized just how shitty I was (am) at math. I'm a "wordcel," (is that term still in vogue?) if you will. Anyways, I skimmed through Wolfram, and I only see examples. Is there any course or something similar? How do you recommend going about it? I'll take a look at the guide/tour when I have some time. Thanks. >1537 Thanks.
>>1543 I haven't yet, despite them being recommended to me. However, I've been watching Stand Up Maths for the past few weeks. I think that might be the way to go. Maybe the interface (right now I'm using Khan Academy) might be too impersonal for me and thus a bit dull. Do you find that his videos are put well in layman's terms? Not "Pop" Math necessarily, but reasonably understandable for someone without a math background.
>>1545 I think they will be a good fit. He is a little more serious than 'pop math' which is good because it means you will actually learn stuff, it's not just science flavoured entertainment. However he targets a range of levels from high school through to undergraduate. There is no question that you will be able to follow along with his easier ones in my opinion, even if you do not have a great natural aptitude for maths. He is a very good teacher.
>>1526 >>1526 >>1528 I don't know if the board should be more or less hostile, but I do believe that "I am not this Anon, I am that anon" is pretty useless talk. That's the whole point: it doesn't matter who is talking, only the talk matters. We're quoting messages, not authors. >>1533 gets it, btw. >>1534 I had to for an exam. I redid the middle school+part of high school programs with https://www.khanacademy.org/ (it starts at preschool level and goes up to undergrad I think, so you will find what you need). Took me a few months at a tranquil pace. I enjoyed the experience.
>>1548 I agree in principle, but in practice sometimes it's relevant. Trying to make a 'devastating deduction about one's moral character' based on a few anonymous posts is an image board mainstay-- the finger pointing accusational paranoia of these spaces is a feature, not a bug.
>>1551 >the finger pointing accusational paranoia of these spaces is a feature, not a bug I'm always amazed that somebody would take it seriously. (see the surprising efficiency of "Who hurt you?" from some years ago on other chans). To me it always read as a joke. But maybe I take the reactions too seriously and they are part of the joke - but somehow, it is too much beating of a dead horse, so I end up believing some got riled up.
Good thread topic, I like it and don’t think it’s cringe at all. Anybody got any book recommendations for chronic people pleasers who are bad at saying no, dealing with conflict and setting boundaries to become more assertive and confident? That’s what I’d want to get better at.
>>1659 >There is a time in every man's education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better, for worse, as his portion; that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to till. The power which resides in him is new in nature, and none but he knows what that is which he can do, nor does he know until he has tried.
>>1701 ok thanks. >>1581 books are not going to help you with conflicts & a-holes, maybe against a-holes who are also booksmart but not against physical a-holes. getting physically strong, especially by boxing/wresting etc. is step one, because being afraid to get physical will also black out your mind in conflict situations. not saying you should get experience by street fighting, fight experience is won either by sparring or going to comps. book smarts are also useful, but their more useful in conflicts against other books-smarts that is carried out on the administrativ plane. HR complaints, gossiping etc. Still most of your confidence comes from physical prowess. The last part is vision, what are you trying to accomplish anyway? do you want to be the best wrestler in your city? do you want to be the new head of support or whatever? figure something out worth fighting for than pick your fights, only go to war as last resort and when a fight will do less damage than trying to wait it out. A-holes are dime a dozen, most of them are confused fools and arent even worth a response, but if some a-hole is being objectively wrong and 100% in his ego, also damaging to his surrondings. Might be a good idea to jump him, if its time to jump, its usually pretty clear.
>>1702 Keep in mind there's some things you can't help. I am physically imposing and still a little bitch. I think 90% of street fights don't deserve to happen in the first place. I find that, generally, there's rarely something worth fist-fighting (and getting a concussion) for. This is where I think many go into MMA with the wrong mindset. Confidence from MMA should be a result of all the hard work that goes into it, not the fantasy of beating a drunkard for no reason. On the other hand, however: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfMbN_MzCpw
>>1704 i think it's kinda wild that you turned the guy asking about being a bit more assertive and being happy saying no to things into a discourse on street fighting. unless you're a bouncer or something if you're getting into fights at a rate of more than, like, one every five years, you're the problem tbh.
>>1704 did you read what I just wrote? dont get into a street fight dummy, only drunkass losers fight in the street. there is a reason boxers get paid for what they are doing and street fighters get locked up, the first one is connected to hard work and controlling your agressive impulses, while the second one is catharsis for dummys with substance abuse issues. you are probably a power lifter with decent volumen from creatine is that right? you need to get the experience grappling, boxing etc. this will add new folds to your brain, you will also meet either the most intersting ppl in the world or the most annoying douches, either way its a journey you need to make, especially if you describe yourself as a little bitch. dont argue with me, ive been in your place and iam out of it, deactivate your stupid fucking ego and just do it, put one foot after another until you make it to the gym, try to put at least a year in just going to the classes, dont spar.
>>1708 I say this all the time on the internet but why are guys so keen to go into a vicious fighting sport like MMA instead of playing something like rugby. Still requires physical strength and physical contest, bravery, aggression, etc. You get all the benefits without having to beat the shit out of someone or get the shit beaten out of you, plus it's an all around fun sport, plus team sports are inherently more social anyway.
>>1709 first couple months are the nastiest, because most people have no stamina, which is needed for classes, so Id recommend to really hang in the beginner zone. Once you feel more confident ask your coach if you should spar, they are very real about this stuff. If the gym tolerates actual bullies and/or crimminals, its not a good gym and you can switch without bad conscience. read this guys post too: >>1710 nah this is a good point actually, rugby and american football are good too, there is also another dimension of team sport & cameradery etc. For a lot of people it would probably be better, as the sport is more detached from actual violece, but still has the same intensity as martial arts. There is no real agression in MMA, Grapplign etc. it looks wild to the average person and it is rooted violent impulses, but most fighters you are trying to figure out how to win and not to gas out. Everyone will tell you, the less emotional you are, the better. The beating the shit out of someone comes at highter levels and thinner gloves, striking only too. Even K1 beginners its with shinpads, thick gloves, sometimes even helmets. most people will never reach that level but its also not necesarry to tell the junkie in public transport to chill out and stop harassing some mousey teenager.
>problems I'm too passive. If I didn't consciously put the effort to go through everyday life, I would rot in my bed, or doing things that are comfortable to me. I've also grown quite resentful and hateful lately. I've started judging other people based on what they do or say, even when it shouldn't concern me. I am trying to avoid these thoughts, ignore the things that don't really affect me and try to put myself in other people's shoes. Third, I'm extremely socially awkward. I've somewhat given up, as I rationalized that I don't have anything to offer to others, and I'm generally not interested in what they say (this is based on past experience, and I've gotten to the point where I feel revulsed by small talk). I should give it more thought, I guess, to pinpoint what I want, exactly. >goals Focus on self-education. I read on a daily basis, but I don't feel I'm a good reader. I don't take any notes, and I often forget what a book was about (except the overall themes or message it gave) in a couple of months. I'm incredibly incurious, so I want to start exploring youtube vids, wikipedia rabbit-holing, or just looking up whatever I'm interested in at a given moment. I want to refine my English, too. As you can see, it's quite poor. I've been avoiding reading books in English, and I'm not that interested in audiovisuals in general, so I'm virtually not inputting at all. Finally, I want to put more effort in my studies. I'm a Grand Procrastinator, and although I've been acing my exams thus far, I know I've got to fundamentally modify my habits if I want that to go on. That's it. Good luck to you anons on whatever your goals are.
>>1771 I can relate to a lot of what you are going through. I'm also socially awkward and interacting with people, especially the ones I don't see every day, can be so exhausting that I don't have the energy or motivation to do anything else once I get home. I think part of it is that I need to get accustomed to it, but I also need to be less hyperaware of what I'm doing and if I'm messing things up, because it seems to suck up energy like a black hole. I go about life thinking that everyone I see is angered by my existence and a small move in the wrong direction could make them harm me. It sucks, and I've been trying to get over it for years to no avail. I will keep trying, though. As for the curiosity thing, I'd say I err on the opposite direction. I have plenty of interests, some of which have become more niche over the years, and indulging in them online is pretty much my only stable source of happiness in my day to day life. I don't want to get rid of my interests, obviously. They define who I am to an extent and if anything I would like to delve further into them, but I would also like to have a functional life which in turn could improve my mental capacity to more meaningfully spend time on that which I enjoy. I like reading too, I used to read a lot growing up, including books that where very complex for my age (The Catcher in the Rye at 11 or so, the entirety of the Sherlock Holmes saga at 12-13, Crime and Punishment and The Red and the Black at 14...), and even though I still read a lot both online and offline, I really miss the feeling of picking up a book and finishing it in a few days or even in one afternoon. I remember how I used to flourish doing that, but it hasn't been enough to push me to do it again so far. Overall, I've been dealing with a sensation for a few years that makes me feel as if I was on the brink of collapsing but in a good way. Like dropping almost everything and focusing only on the things I know are most important. Every once in a while I have a moment of resounding clarity where my thoughts kind of shut up and everything seems so clear and simple, but it doesn't last for long and I end up going back to normal. I think the main conclusion is that I'm afraid. Of other people (because of my lack of confidence), and also of myself. Of what I could do and become if I started taking myself and my life seriously. Maybe this is the case for you, too. After all, procrastination is a form of avoidance and self-sabotage. I'm very hopeful at heart, though. And I think we will make it.
I picked up running during the pandemic and it's unironically the best thing I ever did for myself. Very highly recommended. The physical benefits are nice: I feel better and fitter day to day, and it gave me motivation to lose weight so I would run better (cart before the horse, I know). The mental improvements are definitely real as well. Perhaps my favourite is gaining a new appreciation for what suffering and effort mean, and my ability to endure one and sustain the other (not necessarily respectively). Locking in to zone 2 and letting your mind wander is very pleasant, and can even be productive in ways you don't expect - I composed two thirds of a song for a [ironic spoiler]pantomime[/ironic spoiler] that I'd been struggling with in about 20 minutes that way, with approximately no effort involved; maintaining easy pace and navigating and situational awareness take just enough attention that you can't do any intricate work, but it's not so taxing that you're not able to think. Another nice effect is having something to look forwards to (whether that's this week's long run, or testing the new route that takes me out to [CENSORED], or parkrun, or finally a rest week, or...) and consistently make progress on (even if I don't set any PBs, so long as I'm out there accumulating distance I'm making number go up). It hasn't been a panacea - still looking for a good job, still procrastinating on learning French (bonjour!), still not making progress on my website - but I'm definitely in a better place by running than otherwise. I'd heartily recommend picking up running to any anons here looking to make a change; you might even find you enjoy it.
>>1796 >>1895 broskis you are both deep in the overthinker zone, time to fucking snap out of it. Just by the cadence of writing I assume you are all mad young, like early 20s, thats fine, but pick up the pace. A website can be finished in less than a week, if you take longer than a month and you got nothing else going on, its because you are probably super f up either from meds or depression or both. Like I said its time to snap out of it.
>>1895 Thanks for your advice about running. I'm lucky that I've never been overweight but I definitely am very unfit so I really need to take it seriously. The mental benefits make sense and seem very freeing as you say. >>1944 (and I assume also >>1946 and >>1952) I'm 1796 and I'm going to be fully honest and say that I'm not even in my early 20s, my 20th birthday is next month. I appreciate the stern tone though, it makes sense coming from someone looking from the outside because after all I'm aware that I'm stuck in a spiral and have been for years. I agree with your points and optimism, so I have to ask, how would you go about snapping out of it? I know that I'm the one who has to do it and put in the effort, but I've been trying to change for years and though admittedly I have made substantial progress in some areas, overall it feels like I'm running against a wall again and again, since I haven't gained any major insights about how to proceed with what I've gained. Like I said a few hours ago, I'm still trying, it's just that I feel a little directionless.
>>1998 get into zen buddhism preferably the rinzai-shi sect, its not beginner friendly and intimidating in many ways, but most practicioners come from the same area as you, overthinkers, melancholics etc. so you will find somebody to guide you. Practicing to not think for hours and really taking the practice seriously is the only real reset button in my opionion. Dont bother with esoteric knowledge, enlightment, karma, dharma and all that, you will be overwhelmed, the knowledge will come to anyway later. This is the closest thing to actual magic, to getting actual insights, to getting clarity. After adjusting it will become almost a habit, to got meditate to sort reset your brain back to normal mode or whatever. Be weary of scammers and fake gurus. Drugs, money, abuse, and sex are never part of the zen experience. Abusive gurus are not part of the experience, a true practicioner doesnt worship living or dead beings, guru worship is a delusion. The only thing you are looking for is meditation. Try to find a zen school in your are if its a soto school its fine too, if they charge money or are sketchy about their fees dont go, real buddhists schools only collect money through donations.
>>1998 an addendum to my last post, I never ever proselytize, even my spiritual guide (osho) advised me not to. The sect in general is against coercion or recruitment in any form, but you asked me a question and I answered, also I somehow feel you can handle or need this answer.
>>1484 >I don't remember who advised to barf whatever you have on your mind on the page in the morning, so you can go on writing later in the day unencumbered by idiocies. Not sure if this originated it, but it was big on popularizing it. Worth a try if you want to be more creative, but as with so many things, you'll only get out what you put in.