Confess something.
Anonymous :
40 days ago :
No.10895
>>10896
>>10895
I think as living conditions get tighter and tighter for many in the developed world we will see more people flock to commune-like structures. There's room to redefine the term and the perception of communes as holdouts for political extremists or religious zealots.
I wish me and my friends would live in a commune together but they're well adjusted middle class on the way to white collar success types so it'll never happen. you might say well why don't you join an already existing commune? but they're filled with weirdos and I wanna be around normal people but of course the normal people won't join something like this in the first place so
>>10895
I wish me and my friends would live in a commune together but they're well adjusted middle class on the way to white collar success types so it'll never happen. you might say well why don't you join an already existing commune? but they're filled with weirdos and I wanna be around normal people but of course the normal people won't join something like this in the first place so
I think as living conditions get tighter and tighter for many in the developed world we will see more people flock to commune-like structures. There's room to redefine the term and the perception of communes as holdouts for political extremists or religious zealots.
Anonymous :
39 days ago :
No.10897
>>10899
>>10897
I do this too. it's natural to be curious about life trajectories of people who were your peers for a long time. I should stop though because I end up comparing myself and walk away feeling sad.
My confession today is that on occasion I look up people I went to school with, or internet friends from decades ago. I go a tad bit deeper than "do they have a Facebook profile". I always feel a tinge of guilt, but I don't know exactly why I should feel bad about it. I don't consider it stalking since once I find what I can find out I don't look again. It settles a curiosity in me.
>>10897
My confession today is that on occasion I look up people I went to school with, or internet friends from decades ago. I go a tad bit deeper than "do they have a Facebook profile". I always feel a tinge of guilt, but I don't know exactly why I should feel bad about it. I don't consider it stalking since once I find what I can find out I don't look again. It settles a curiosity in me.
I do this too. it's natural to be curious about life trajectories of people who were your peers for a long time. I should stop though because I end up comparing myself and walk away feeling sad.
I wish I had the courage to leave my soul-crushing office job behind and actually do something meaningful that helps people/animals/whatever. But the truth is I'm just too much of a sucker for living comfortably, I don't know if I could give up the current stability I have even if I dread the idea of doing what I'm currently doing for several more decades.
I am in love but it seems pretty unlikely to work out at the moment so I'm pussying out of opening up about it even though she seems to like me too. Not the first woman I've disappointed this way but I need to do a lot of work on myself before I can entertain the idea of a serious relationship. I'm genuinely hoping to make it work this time though
Roommate caught me jerking off. Pants around ankles but at least my dick was covered. Can't wait to move into my one-bed at the end of the month
Anonymous :
28 days ago :
No.10972
>>11005
>>10972
If it makes you feel better, this
>People are uneasy around me now. I was a likable guy before. Now I have difficulty relating to anybody about anything
is only an outgrowth of the conditions you're in, and will disappear once your situation improves, as your natural personality reasserts itself. When I was poor, I felt my personality deteriorate in ways I didn't like, but it lifted and I went back to my old self. Sounds like a tough situation you're in, anyway. Probably good to slowly dial back the Adderall, and reduce the smoking to a reasonable sufficiency, not chain-smoking. In that regard, slowly but surely wins the race.
>>11007>>10972
I frequently see people who "can't wash clothes" because they don't have a machine. The idea that you can wash your clothes by hand as long as you have a bit of water and some laundry soap has been lost to Americans. Go buy some Zote and a wide bucket from your nearest Dollar Tree or latino store and get scrubbing my friend. Now, if you don't have running water, that's a different story and I can excuse you. I sincerely do hope that you get better regardless. At least you have us at /pt/ to vent to and distract yourself.
>>11013>>10972
I want to say something that helps but idk what to say. if you ever wanna just talk about whatever let me know. maybe we can chat on discord or something. i know the words "you're not alone" sound like bs platitude but today they're not. there's someone in the universe (me) who's thinking about you and wishing the best for you.
>>11208>>10972
My situation is not quite this, but bad enough I worry about it becoming that way. I have not bought a gun and if I ever get to the point where I find myself driving to the gun store, my plan is to keep driving past until I get to Sravasti Abbey and try monkhood first.
It seems like a waste to experience suffering that low and not exhaust the possibility of it being a prelude to a noble transformation like that, even if I presently fear the shift in identity it would entail. I try to keep myself more fearful of death and not fantasize about it above that shift.
I have lost myself to poverty. I was forced out of a promising 20s after my dad died. Was dragged back to my family’s rented trash house. My mother and I live together in this home. It is covered in cat shit, garbage, and black mold. She hobbles around when she walks and her toenails are purple. She refuses to go get help. I found pills to treat opioid withdrawals by her bed yesterday.
We have no working shower or bath, no usable water, no A/C, no way to wash clothes. The A/C is the roughest part because we’re in the south. I have been here four years. I’ve since become very unlikable. People are uneasy around me now. I was a likable guy before. Now I have difficulty relating to anybody about anything.
I have been priced out of the area and cannot find an affordable place to live. I do not have the means to relocate entirely. I am 27. I don’t really feel much besides an occasional sense of deep fear and terror that subsides after a few minutes. I need between 90-120mg of adderall to get out of bed. If I go a day without it I get very irritable. I’ve become a chain smoker.
I work but I cannot find a job that will schedule me enough shifts. Putting in applications is a herculean effort that leaves me feeling crushed. I have no degree and have only ever worked as waitstaff.
I have a pistol but it’s only a terrible .22 revolver. I’ve loaded it and stuck it in my mouth a few times but I’m terrified that I won’t get the angle right and I’ll just blow my face off. I can’t afford a higher caliber gun. I fought so hard not to have to live like this when I was younger. I feel mostly “gone” in the head, but I’m still discontented enough, still present enough to hate all this.
It is good that I discovered this website because when I have tried to post about this elsewhere, to vent, the post is always removed.
>>10972
I have lost myself to poverty. I was forced out of a promising 20s after my dad died. Was dragged back to my family’s rented trash house. My mother and I live together in this home. It is covered in cat shit, garbage, and black mold. She hobbles around when she walks and her toenails are purple. She refuses to go get help. I found pills to treat opioid withdrawals by her bed yesterday.
We have no working shower or bath, no usable water, no A/C, no way to wash clothes. The A/C is the roughest part because we’re in the south. I have been here four years. I’ve since become very unlikable. People are uneasy around me now. I was a likable guy before. Now I have difficulty relating to anybody about anything.
I have been priced out of the area and cannot find an affordable place to live. I do not have the means to relocate entirely. I am 27. I don’t really feel much besides an occasional sense of deep fear and terror that subsides after a few minutes. I need between 90-120mg of adderall to get out of bed. If I go a day without it I get very irritable. I’ve become a chain smoker.
I work but I cannot find a job that will schedule me enough shifts. Putting in applications is a herculean effort that leaves me feeling crushed. I have no degree and have only ever worked as waitstaff.
I have a pistol but it’s only a terrible .22 revolver. I’ve loaded it and stuck it in my mouth a few times but I’m terrified that I won’t get the angle right and I’ll just blow my face off. I can’t afford a higher caliber gun. I fought so hard not to have to live like this when I was younger. I feel mostly “gone” in the head, but I’m still discontented enough, still present enough to hate all this.
It is good that I discovered this website because when I have tried to post about this elsewhere, to vent, the post is always removed.
If it makes you feel better, this
>People are uneasy around me now. I was a likable guy before. Now I have difficulty relating to anybody about anything
is only an outgrowth of the conditions you're in, and will disappear once your situation improves, as your natural personality reasserts itself. When I was poor, I felt my personality deteriorate in ways I didn't like, but it lifted and I went back to my old self. Sounds like a tough situation you're in, anyway. Probably good to slowly dial back the Adderall, and reduce the smoking to a reasonable sufficiency, not chain-smoking. In that regard, slowly but surely wins the race.
>>10972
I have lost myself to poverty. I was forced out of a promising 20s after my dad died. Was dragged back to my family’s rented trash house. My mother and I live together in this home. It is covered in cat shit, garbage, and black mold. She hobbles around when she walks and her toenails are purple. She refuses to go get help. I found pills to treat opioid withdrawals by her bed yesterday.
We have no working shower or bath, no usable water, no A/C, no way to wash clothes. The A/C is the roughest part because we’re in the south. I have been here four years. I’ve since become very unlikable. People are uneasy around me now. I was a likable guy before. Now I have difficulty relating to anybody about anything.
I have been priced out of the area and cannot find an affordable place to live. I do not have the means to relocate entirely. I am 27. I don’t really feel much besides an occasional sense of deep fear and terror that subsides after a few minutes. I need between 90-120mg of adderall to get out of bed. If I go a day without it I get very irritable. I’ve become a chain smoker.
I work but I cannot find a job that will schedule me enough shifts. Putting in applications is a herculean effort that leaves me feeling crushed. I have no degree and have only ever worked as waitstaff.
I have a pistol but it’s only a terrible .22 revolver. I’ve loaded it and stuck it in my mouth a few times but I’m terrified that I won’t get the angle right and I’ll just blow my face off. I can’t afford a higher caliber gun. I fought so hard not to have to live like this when I was younger. I feel mostly “gone” in the head, but I’m still discontented enough, still present enough to hate all this.
It is good that I discovered this website because when I have tried to post about this elsewhere, to vent, the post is always removed.
I frequently see people who "can't wash clothes" because they don't have a machine. The idea that you can wash your clothes by hand as long as you have a bit of water and some laundry soap has been lost to Americans. Go buy some Zote and a wide bucket from your nearest Dollar Tree or latino store and get scrubbing my friend. Now, if you don't have running water, that's a different story and I can excuse you. I sincerely do hope that you get better regardless. At least you have us at /pt/ to vent to and distract yourself.
>>10972
I have lost myself to poverty. I was forced out of a promising 20s after my dad died. Was dragged back to my family’s rented trash house. My mother and I live together in this home. It is covered in cat shit, garbage, and black mold. She hobbles around when she walks and her toenails are purple. She refuses to go get help. I found pills to treat opioid withdrawals by her bed yesterday.
We have no working shower or bath, no usable water, no A/C, no way to wash clothes. The A/C is the roughest part because we’re in the south. I have been here four years. I’ve since become very unlikable. People are uneasy around me now. I was a likable guy before. Now I have difficulty relating to anybody about anything.
I have been priced out of the area and cannot find an affordable place to live. I do not have the means to relocate entirely. I am 27. I don’t really feel much besides an occasional sense of deep fear and terror that subsides after a few minutes. I need between 90-120mg of adderall to get out of bed. If I go a day without it I get very irritable. I’ve become a chain smoker.
I work but I cannot find a job that will schedule me enough shifts. Putting in applications is a herculean effort that leaves me feeling crushed. I have no degree and have only ever worked as waitstaff.
I have a pistol but it’s only a terrible .22 revolver. I’ve loaded it and stuck it in my mouth a few times but I’m terrified that I won’t get the angle right and I’ll just blow my face off. I can’t afford a higher caliber gun. I fought so hard not to have to live like this when I was younger. I feel mostly “gone” in the head, but I’m still discontented enough, still present enough to hate all this.
It is good that I discovered this website because when I have tried to post about this elsewhere, to vent, the post is always removed.
I want to say something that helps but idk what to say. if you ever wanna just talk about whatever let me know. maybe we can chat on discord or something. i know the words "you're not alone" sound like bs platitude but today they're not. there's someone in the universe (me) who's thinking about you and wishing the best for you.
I hate thirdies and diversity
I am indian
I used to be a serial cheater but had gotten clean for the last ~5 years, been with my gf for 3 years and never kissed another. Relationship has been going bad and honestly I haven't been in love for a while. 2 months ago I cheated again and while I feel overwhelmed with guilt I'm not even sure I regret all of it
Anonymous :
23 days ago :
No.11101
>>11105
>>11101
I bet your disgust only extends in one direction (male homosexuality). It is an extension of the reflection of one's own gender. You will try to counter me, assuredly, about how much of an equal opportunity hater you are and how you go to bed at night seething about lesbians as you do gay men, but we can all see the subtext here (the reference to finance and other institutions of power)
>>11133>>11101
One of the main researchers into AIDS treatment once said this, and was condemned as "phobic", but it contains not a single lie:
>The active sexual partner injects infected semen into the anus of the passive partner [...] These people have sex twenty to thirty times a night [...] A man comes along and goes from anus to anus and in a single night will act as a mosquito transferring infected cells on his penis. When this is practiced for a year, with a man having three thousand sexual intercourses', one can readily understand this massive epidemic that is currently upon us.
Luckily, male homosexuality has effectively worn itself out and is on the wane. Transsexuality is more healthy especially in its hermaphroditic ("I have a woman's soul in a man's body, so I hope to have a more feminine body"), rather than cluster-B ("I was wrongly _assigned_ male"), forms. Fortunately, most MtFs are sceptical of gay men, and they see gay men's massive envy toward them.
The Singaporeans were correct to quarantine AIDS carriers, and we doubtlessly should still fine people for contracting HIV through recklessness (promiscuity, drug use).
>>11105
Roger Scruton in his 'Sexual Desire':
>The case of female homosexuality is remarkably different - at least insofar as it has been sensitively recorded. There is not the same emphasis on the sexual organs and on the moment of sexual excitement; instead there is an extremely poignant, often helpless, sense of being at another's mercy.
>The lesbian knows that she desires someone who will not typically make those advances that are characteristic of a man, even if she wants to ; nor can she make these advances herself without compromising the gender-identity which (she wishes to believe) is integral to her own attractiveness. She can only wait, and wish, and pray to the gods, with the troubled fervour captured by Sappho in her hymn to Aphrodite: poikilothron athanat' Aphrodita.
I find myself more homophobic with age, and feel disgusted that every institution bent the knee for homos. Kind of reveals how finance and queer go hand-in-hand, to me.
Anonymous :
22 days ago :
No.11105
>>11109
>>11105
not that anon and I dont disagree but I think most homo haters are open about how they dgaf about lesbians and only hate male homosexuals. most don't even recognize lesbianism as a "thing" or consider it within the lines of normal sexuality, whereas male homosexuality is an abnormal deviation deserving of ire.
>>11133>>11101
One of the main researchers into AIDS treatment once said this, and was condemned as "phobic", but it contains not a single lie:
>The active sexual partner injects infected semen into the anus of the passive partner [...] These people have sex twenty to thirty times a night [...] A man comes along and goes from anus to anus and in a single night will act as a mosquito transferring infected cells on his penis. When this is practiced for a year, with a man having three thousand sexual intercourses', one can readily understand this massive epidemic that is currently upon us.
Luckily, male homosexuality has effectively worn itself out and is on the wane. Transsexuality is more healthy especially in its hermaphroditic ("I have a woman's soul in a man's body, so I hope to have a more feminine body"), rather than cluster-B ("I was wrongly _assigned_ male"), forms. Fortunately, most MtFs are sceptical of gay men, and they see gay men's massive envy toward them.
The Singaporeans were correct to quarantine AIDS carriers, and we doubtlessly should still fine people for contracting HIV through recklessness (promiscuity, drug use).
>>11105
Roger Scruton in his 'Sexual Desire':
>The case of female homosexuality is remarkably different - at least insofar as it has been sensitively recorded. There is not the same emphasis on the sexual organs and on the moment of sexual excitement; instead there is an extremely poignant, often helpless, sense of being at another's mercy.
>The lesbian knows that she desires someone who will not typically make those advances that are characteristic of a man, even if she wants to ; nor can she make these advances herself without compromising the gender-identity which (she wishes to believe) is integral to her own attractiveness. She can only wait, and wish, and pray to the gods, with the troubled fervour captured by Sappho in her hymn to Aphrodite: poikilothron athanat' Aphrodita.
>>11247>>11105
Guilty as charged.
Male homosexuals stand to lose the most from the end of late neoliberalism. So they will naturally defend it with all their might.
>>11101
I find myself more homophobic with age, and feel disgusted that every institution bent the knee for homos. Kind of reveals how finance and queer go hand-in-hand, to me.
I bet your disgust only extends in one direction (male homosexuality). It is an extension of the reflection of one's own gender. You will try to counter me, assuredly, about how much of an equal opportunity hater you are and how you go to bed at night seething about lesbians as you do gay men, but we can all see the subtext here (the reference to finance and other institutions of power)
>>11105
>>11101
I bet your disgust only extends in one direction (male homosexuality). It is an extension of the reflection of one's own gender. You will try to counter me, assuredly, about how much of an equal opportunity hater you are and how you go to bed at night seething about lesbians as you do gay men, but we can all see the subtext here (the reference to finance and other institutions of power)
not that anon and I dont disagree but I think most homo haters are open about how they dgaf about lesbians and only hate male homosexuals. most don't even recognize lesbianism as a "thing" or consider it within the lines of normal sexuality, whereas male homosexuality is an abnormal deviation deserving of ire.
Anonymous :
20 days ago :
No.11133
>>11166
>>11133
>lesbian bitches be convening with goddesses and gay dudes literally be bugs
>gay girls rule, gay boys drool
you cannot be serious. dumbest post i’ve ever read
>>11203>>11133
Either I'm misreading this, or Scruton seems to be saying is that the 'female gender identity' is synonymous with being a passive slave, and two passive slaves cannot have a sexual relationship without stepping beyond their role and thus no longer being 'female'. When I read things like this I begin to understand where the insane blackpilled radfems from Twitter are coming from.
>>11101
I find myself more homophobic with age, and feel disgusted that every institution bent the knee for homos. Kind of reveals how finance and queer go hand-in-hand, to me.
One of the main researchers into AIDS treatment once said this, and was condemned as "phobic", but it contains not a single lie:
>The active sexual partner injects infected semen into the anus of the passive partner [...] These people have sex twenty to thirty times a night [...] A man comes along and goes from anus to anus and in a single night will act as a mosquito transferring infected cells on his penis. When this is practiced for a year, with a man having three thousand sexual intercourses', one can readily understand this massive epidemic that is currently upon us.
Luckily, male homosexuality has effectively worn itself out and is on the wane. Transsexuality is more healthy especially in its hermaphroditic ("I have a woman's soul in a man's body, so I hope to have a more feminine body"), rather than cluster-B ("I was wrongly _assigned_ male"), forms. Fortunately, most MtFs are sceptical of gay men, and they see gay men's massive envy toward them.
The Singaporeans were correct to quarantine AIDS carriers, and we doubtlessly should still fine people for contracting HIV through recklessness (promiscuity, drug use).
>>11105>>11101
I bet your disgust only extends in one direction (male homosexuality). It is an extension of the reflection of one's own gender. You will try to counter me, assuredly, about how much of an equal opportunity hater you are and how you go to bed at night seething about lesbians as you do gay men, but we can all see the subtext here (the reference to finance and other institutions of power)
Roger Scruton in his 'Sexual Desire':
>The case of female homosexuality is remarkably different - at least insofar as it has been sensitively recorded. There is not the same emphasis on the sexual organs and on the moment of sexual excitement; instead there is an extremely poignant, often helpless, sense of being at another's mercy.
>The lesbian knows that she desires someone who will not typically make those advances that are characteristic of a man, even if she wants to ; nor can she make these advances herself without compromising the gender-identity which (she wishes to believe) is integral to her own attractiveness. She can only wait, and wish, and pray to the gods, with the troubled fervour captured by Sappho in her hymn to Aphrodite: poikilothron athanat' Aphrodita.
Anonymous :
20 days ago :
No.11166
>>11167
>>11166
Scruton sees lesbianism as basically a joke because of women's inability to be sexually "masculine", going out from the self.
>>11133
>>11101
One of the main researchers into AIDS treatment once said this, and was condemned as "phobic", but it contains not a single lie:
>The active sexual partner injects infected semen into the anus of the passive partner [...] These people have sex twenty to thirty times a night [...] A man comes along and goes from anus to anus and in a single night will act as a mosquito transferring infected cells on his penis. When this is practiced for a year, with a man having three thousand sexual intercourses', one can readily understand this massive epidemic that is currently upon us.
Luckily, male homosexuality has effectively worn itself out and is on the wane. Transsexuality is more healthy especially in its hermaphroditic ("I have a woman's soul in a man's body, so I hope to have a more feminine body"), rather than cluster-B ("I was wrongly _assigned_ male"), forms. Fortunately, most MtFs are sceptical of gay men, and they see gay men's massive envy toward them.
The Singaporeans were correct to quarantine AIDS carriers, and we doubtlessly should still fine people for contracting HIV through recklessness (promiscuity, drug use).
>>11105
Roger Scruton in his 'Sexual Desire':
>The case of female homosexuality is remarkably different - at least insofar as it has been sensitively recorded. There is not the same emphasis on the sexual organs and on the moment of sexual excitement; instead there is an extremely poignant, often helpless, sense of being at another's mercy.
>The lesbian knows that she desires someone who will not typically make those advances that are characteristic of a man, even if she wants to ; nor can she make these advances herself without compromising the gender-identity which (she wishes to believe) is integral to her own attractiveness. She can only wait, and wish, and pray to the gods, with the troubled fervour captured by Sappho in her hymn to Aphrodite: poikilothron athanat' Aphrodita.
>lesbian bitches be convening with goddesses and gay dudes literally be bugs
>gay girls rule, gay boys drool
you cannot be serious. dumbest post i’ve ever read
>>11166
>>11133
>lesbian bitches be convening with goddesses and gay dudes literally be bugs
>gay girls rule, gay boys drool
you cannot be serious. dumbest post i’ve ever read
Scruton sees lesbianism as basically a joke because of women's inability to be sexually "masculine", going out from the self.
I kissed a girl and I liked it; I hope my boyfriend don't mind it.
Anonymous :
19 days ago :
No.11184
>>11205
>>11184
I have had this issue. My antidote has been paying attention to how people I admire appreciate other people or the greater world. Picrel and Joyce are my big two. I bet you can think of someone.
I realised that my reflexive reaction to almost anything (people, writing, art) is one of derision. Only nature and music elicit positive feelings in me, I hate everything else. Not sure how to condition myself out of this.
Anonymous :
19 days ago :
No.11203
>>11216
>>11203
He isn't saying that at all. You should read the book; his writing is a pleasure. In fact, nothing in that passage even evokes slavery, so I think you are being unreasonable.
>>11208
>He believes he wants to be a monk, but he also has wondered about suicide (a mortal sin)
NGMI
>>11209
Is it your actual view that all depictions of lesbianism have been for someone else?
>a real lesbian is a solitary sentinel, or an unsuspecting predator hiding undetected in a flock. a natural compartmentalizer, many men are married to them for the money and social position they can give and will never know or even care what their wife is doing with her friends or why she is with them all the time.a real lesbian is a solitary sentinel, or an unsuspecting predator hiding undetected in a flock. a natural compartmentalizer, many men are married to them for the money and social position they can give and will never know or even care what their wife is doing with her friends or why she is with them all the time.
Except that such a married lesbian would be frigid with her husband, and if she has a daughter, will mistreat and criticize her for being feminine (cf Germaine Greer's mother).
>>11133
>>11101
One of the main researchers into AIDS treatment once said this, and was condemned as "phobic", but it contains not a single lie:
>The active sexual partner injects infected semen into the anus of the passive partner [...] These people have sex twenty to thirty times a night [...] A man comes along and goes from anus to anus and in a single night will act as a mosquito transferring infected cells on his penis. When this is practiced for a year, with a man having three thousand sexual intercourses', one can readily understand this massive epidemic that is currently upon us.
Luckily, male homosexuality has effectively worn itself out and is on the wane. Transsexuality is more healthy especially in its hermaphroditic ("I have a woman's soul in a man's body, so I hope to have a more feminine body"), rather than cluster-B ("I was wrongly _assigned_ male"), forms. Fortunately, most MtFs are sceptical of gay men, and they see gay men's massive envy toward them.
The Singaporeans were correct to quarantine AIDS carriers, and we doubtlessly should still fine people for contracting HIV through recklessness (promiscuity, drug use).
>>11105
Roger Scruton in his 'Sexual Desire':
>The case of female homosexuality is remarkably different - at least insofar as it has been sensitively recorded. There is not the same emphasis on the sexual organs and on the moment of sexual excitement; instead there is an extremely poignant, often helpless, sense of being at another's mercy.
>The lesbian knows that she desires someone who will not typically make those advances that are characteristic of a man, even if she wants to ; nor can she make these advances herself without compromising the gender-identity which (she wishes to believe) is integral to her own attractiveness. She can only wait, and wish, and pray to the gods, with the troubled fervour captured by Sappho in her hymn to Aphrodite: poikilothron athanat' Aphrodita.
Either I'm misreading this, or Scruton seems to be saying is that the 'female gender identity' is synonymous with being a passive slave, and two passive slaves cannot have a sexual relationship without stepping beyond their role and thus no longer being 'female'. When I read things like this I begin to understand where the insane blackpilled radfems from Twitter are coming from.
>>11184
I realised that my reflexive reaction to almost anything (people, writing, art) is one of derision. Only nature and music elicit positive feelings in me, I hate everything else. Not sure how to condition myself out of this.
I have had this issue. My antidote has been paying attention to how people I admire appreciate other people or the greater world. Picrel and Joyce are my big two. I bet you can think of someone.
Beauty is of no use to a man except that it is a total defense against the charge of lecherousness.
Anonymous :
19 days ago :
No.11208
>>11216
>>11203
He isn't saying that at all. You should read the book; his writing is a pleasure. In fact, nothing in that passage even evokes slavery, so I think you are being unreasonable.
>>11208
>He believes he wants to be a monk, but he also has wondered about suicide (a mortal sin)
NGMI
>>11209
Is it your actual view that all depictions of lesbianism have been for someone else?
>a real lesbian is a solitary sentinel, or an unsuspecting predator hiding undetected in a flock. a natural compartmentalizer, many men are married to them for the money and social position they can give and will never know or even care what their wife is doing with her friends or why she is with them all the time.a real lesbian is a solitary sentinel, or an unsuspecting predator hiding undetected in a flock. a natural compartmentalizer, many men are married to them for the money and social position they can give and will never know or even care what their wife is doing with her friends or why she is with them all the time.
Except that such a married lesbian would be frigid with her husband, and if she has a daughter, will mistreat and criticize her for being feminine (cf Germaine Greer's mother).
>>10972
I have lost myself to poverty. I was forced out of a promising 20s after my dad died. Was dragged back to my family’s rented trash house. My mother and I live together in this home. It is covered in cat shit, garbage, and black mold. She hobbles around when she walks and her toenails are purple. She refuses to go get help. I found pills to treat opioid withdrawals by her bed yesterday.
We have no working shower or bath, no usable water, no A/C, no way to wash clothes. The A/C is the roughest part because we’re in the south. I have been here four years. I’ve since become very unlikable. People are uneasy around me now. I was a likable guy before. Now I have difficulty relating to anybody about anything.
I have been priced out of the area and cannot find an affordable place to live. I do not have the means to relocate entirely. I am 27. I don’t really feel much besides an occasional sense of deep fear and terror that subsides after a few minutes. I need between 90-120mg of adderall to get out of bed. If I go a day without it I get very irritable. I’ve become a chain smoker.
I work but I cannot find a job that will schedule me enough shifts. Putting in applications is a herculean effort that leaves me feeling crushed. I have no degree and have only ever worked as waitstaff.
I have a pistol but it’s only a terrible .22 revolver. I’ve loaded it and stuck it in my mouth a few times but I’m terrified that I won’t get the angle right and I’ll just blow my face off. I can’t afford a higher caliber gun. I fought so hard not to have to live like this when I was younger. I feel mostly “gone” in the head, but I’m still discontented enough, still present enough to hate all this.
It is good that I discovered this website because when I have tried to post about this elsewhere, to vent, the post is always removed.
My situation is not quite this, but bad enough I worry about it becoming that way. I have not bought a gun and if I ever get to the point where I find myself driving to the gun store, my plan is to keep driving past until I get to Sravasti Abbey and try monkhood first.
It seems like a waste to experience suffering that low and not exhaust the possibility of it being a prelude to a noble transformation like that, even if I presently fear the shift in identity it would entail. I try to keep myself more fearful of death and not fantasize about it above that shift.
Anonymous :
19 days ago :
No.11209
>>11216
>>11203
He isn't saying that at all. You should read the book; his writing is a pleasure. In fact, nothing in that passage even evokes slavery, so I think you are being unreasonable.
>>11208
>He believes he wants to be a monk, but he also has wondered about suicide (a mortal sin)
NGMI
>>11209
Is it your actual view that all depictions of lesbianism have been for someone else?
>a real lesbian is a solitary sentinel, or an unsuspecting predator hiding undetected in a flock. a natural compartmentalizer, many men are married to them for the money and social position they can give and will never know or even care what their wife is doing with her friends or why she is with them all the time.a real lesbian is a solitary sentinel, or an unsuspecting predator hiding undetected in a flock. a natural compartmentalizer, many men are married to them for the money and social position they can give and will never know or even care what their wife is doing with her friends or why she is with them all the time.
Except that such a married lesbian would be frigid with her husband, and if she has a daughter, will mistreat and criticize her for being feminine (cf Germaine Greer's mother).
>>11279
lesbianism is a relatively minor solo activity, it does not need representation or television shows about it; all depictions of it is for everyone else. Only AGP trannies want to force a flanderized experience of what they wish they understood into existence. gay men and women need a culture to conform to and an external audience to validate their existence because they are HR brained and need to create rules and consensus amongst each other and a hierarchy to play social games within. a real lesbian is a solitary sentinel, or an unsuspecting predator hiding undetected in a flock. a natural compartmentalizer, many men are married to them for the money and social position they can give and will never know or even care what their wife is doing with her friends or why she is with them all the time.
As if there isn’t about 300 different types of lesbians lmao. Not to be the nuancecel but these generalizations are just absurd
Anonymous :
18 days ago :
No.11216
>>11244
>>11216
Poor reading comprehension. I don't want to be a monk, just prefer it to death. In either case, not going to be Christian.
>>11250
>>11203
>>11133
Either I'm misreading this, or Scruton seems to be saying is that the 'female gender identity' is synonymous with being a passive slave, and two passive slaves cannot have a sexual relationship without stepping beyond their role and thus no longer being 'female'. When I read things like this I begin to understand where the insane blackpilled radfems from Twitter are coming from.
He isn't saying that at all. You should read the book; his writing is a pleasure. In fact, nothing in that passage even evokes slavery, so I think you are being unreasonable.
>>11208>>10972
My situation is not quite this, but bad enough I worry about it becoming that way. I have not bought a gun and if I ever get to the point where I find myself driving to the gun store, my plan is to keep driving past until I get to Sravasti Abbey and try monkhood first.
It seems like a waste to experience suffering that low and not exhaust the possibility of it being a prelude to a noble transformation like that, even if I presently fear the shift in identity it would entail. I try to keep myself more fearful of death and not fantasize about it above that shift.
>He believes he wants to be a monk, but he also has wondered about suicide (a mortal sin)
NGMI
>>11209lesbianism is a relatively minor solo activity, it does not need representation or television shows about it; all depictions of it is for everyone else. Only AGP trannies want to force a flanderized experience of what they wish they understood into existence. gay men and women need a culture to conform to and an external audience to validate their existence because they are HR brained and need to create rules and consensus amongst each other and a hierarchy to play social games within. a real lesbian is a solitary sentinel, or an unsuspecting predator hiding undetected in a flock. a natural compartmentalizer, many men are married to them for the money and social position they can give and will never know or even care what their wife is doing with her friends or why she is with them all the time.
Is it your actual view that all depictions of lesbianism have been for someone else?
>a real lesbian is a solitary sentinel, or an unsuspecting predator hiding undetected in a flock. a natural compartmentalizer, many men are married to them for the money and social position they can give and will never know or even care what their wife is doing with her friends or why she is with them all the time.a real lesbian is a solitary sentinel, or an unsuspecting predator hiding undetected in a flock. a natural compartmentalizer, many men are married to them for the money and social position they can give and will never know or even care what their wife is doing with her friends or why she is with them all the time.
Except that such a married lesbian would be frigid with her husband, and if she has a daughter, will mistreat and criticize her for being feminine (cf Germaine Greer's mother).
Anonymous :
18 days ago :
No.11220
>>11227
>>11220
This is true lesbianism, to wit, autoandrophilia. Wittig, Solanas, and Greer are other famous examples.
All other forms of lesbianism are caused by personality disorders (Portia di Rossi, etc)
>buncha men debating about what the 'true essence' of lesbianism is
Shiggy
Anonymous :
18 days ago :
No.11227
>>11228
>>11227
I think like male gayness, there isn't one single 'true type', more like a series of archetypes. That is definitely one of them.
>>11220
>buncha men debating about what the 'true essence' of lesbianism is
Shiggy
This is true lesbianism, to wit, autoandrophilia. Wittig, Solanas, and Greer are other famous examples.
All other forms of lesbianism are caused by personality disorders (Portia di Rossi, etc)
>>11227
>>11220
This is true lesbianism, to wit, autoandrophilia. Wittig, Solanas, and Greer are other famous examples.
All other forms of lesbianism are caused by personality disorders (Portia di Rossi, etc)
I think like male gayness, there isn't one single 'true type', more like a series of archetypes. That is definitely one of them.
Anonymous :
18 days ago :
No.11229
>>11246
>>11229
Poll after poll shows lesbians being the most affirming of trannyism. TERF's are LARP'ers.
AAP has been absorbed into the contemporary trans movement outside of lesbianism, for what it's worth, but I hate debating label categories so I don't want to turn that into the next thread argument.
>>11216
>>11203
He isn't saying that at all. You should read the book; his writing is a pleasure. In fact, nothing in that passage even evokes slavery, so I think you are being unreasonable.
>>11208
>He believes he wants to be a monk, but he also has wondered about suicide (a mortal sin)
NGMI
>>11209
Is it your actual view that all depictions of lesbianism have been for someone else?
>a real lesbian is a solitary sentinel, or an unsuspecting predator hiding undetected in a flock. a natural compartmentalizer, many men are married to them for the money and social position they can give and will never know or even care what their wife is doing with her friends or why she is with them all the time.a real lesbian is a solitary sentinel, or an unsuspecting predator hiding undetected in a flock. a natural compartmentalizer, many men are married to them for the money and social position they can give and will never know or even care what their wife is doing with her friends or why she is with them all the time.
Except that such a married lesbian would be frigid with her husband, and if she has a daughter, will mistreat and criticize her for being feminine (cf Germaine Greer's mother).
Poor reading comprehension. I don't want to be a monk, just prefer it to death. In either case, not going to be Christian.
>>11229
AAP has been absorbed into the contemporary trans movement outside of lesbianism, for what it's worth, but I hate debating label categories so I don't want to turn that into the next thread argument.
Poll after poll shows lesbians being the most affirming of trannyism. TERF's are LARP'ers.
>>11105
>>11101
I bet your disgust only extends in one direction (male homosexuality). It is an extension of the reflection of one's own gender. You will try to counter me, assuredly, about how much of an equal opportunity hater you are and how you go to bed at night seething about lesbians as you do gay men, but we can all see the subtext here (the reference to finance and other institutions of power)
Guilty as charged.
Male homosexuals stand to lose the most from the end of late neoliberalism. So they will naturally defend it with all their might.
Anonymous :
18 days ago :
No.11250
>>11277
>>11250
It's built on four noble truths. I hope you have better wisdom next time.
>>11216
>>11203
He isn't saying that at all. You should read the book; his writing is a pleasure. In fact, nothing in that passage even evokes slavery, so I think you are being unreasonable.
>>11208
>He believes he wants to be a monk, but he also has wondered about suicide (a mortal sin)
NGMI
>>11209
Is it your actual view that all depictions of lesbianism have been for someone else?
>a real lesbian is a solitary sentinel, or an unsuspecting predator hiding undetected in a flock. a natural compartmentalizer, many men are married to them for the money and social position they can give and will never know or even care what their wife is doing with her friends or why she is with them all the time.a real lesbian is a solitary sentinel, or an unsuspecting predator hiding undetected in a flock. a natural compartmentalizer, many men are married to them for the money and social position they can give and will never know or even care what their wife is doing with her friends or why she is with them all the time.
Except that such a married lesbian would be frigid with her husband, and if she has a daughter, will mistreat and criticize her for being feminine (cf Germaine Greer's mother).
>>11244>>11216
Poor reading comprehension. I don't want to be a monk, just prefer it to death. In either case, not going to be Christian.
How will such a noble transformation take place if it is built atop a lie? If you are a monk who doesn't believe in God, you are just vegetating, in a different way.
>>11209
lesbianism is a relatively minor solo activity, it does not need representation or television shows about it; all depictions of it is for everyone else. Only AGP trannies want to force a flanderized experience of what they wish they understood into existence. gay men and women need a culture to conform to and an external audience to validate their existence because they are HR brained and need to create rules and consensus amongst each other and a hierarchy to play social games within. a real lesbian is a solitary sentinel, or an unsuspecting predator hiding undetected in a flock. a natural compartmentalizer, many men are married to them for the money and social position they can give and will never know or even care what their wife is doing with her friends or why she is with them all the time.
> lesbianism
> solo
wut
>>11278I ATE THIS CAKE I FOUND ON TOP OF A TRASH BIN AND THE STRAWBERRIES HAD GONE BAD.
why did you do that. are you a starving homeless person or just a schizo
I ATE THE PIZZA FROM THE PARK.
I ATE THE PEANUT M&M'S FROM THE CARPARK STAIRWELL.
They’re pictures of my prick. I call them pricktures
they're?
I let my romantic feelings for a god-awful water color arthoe blind me from calling out what an asshole she was to everyone and I enabled her.
Anonymous :
9 days ago :
No.11439
>>11441
>>11439
very curious about your life now. why is a happy comfortable life out of question for you. and what would living meaningfully look like
>>11445>>11439
Same and same
A happy, comfortable life has always been out of the question for me; the only hope I have left is that I may, at least, live meaningfully. Naturally, this cannot be expected to end well.
Anonymous :
9 days ago :
No.11441
>>11448
>>11441
My life is really quite ordinary for someone on an imageboard. I have barely any friends or connections -- everyone apparently finds me repulsive and ghosts me for months on end. At the very best, they keep me around because they want to use me, and never ask how I'm doing. I don't think anyone would willingly come between ten feet of me.
The thing is, though, the one thing I care about more than anything is supporting and loving other people. I want to be there for them and talk about their problems with them; I want to explore their worlds, see what brings them joy, what they fear, what they dream of. Unconditional love is the one thing I strive for. Without that, my life collapses like a house of cards.
(Even if this weren't true, I've fought depression all my life, which makes things harder by a hundredfold.)
I still want to make the world a better place. I'm a pianist -- I want to inspire people with my art. Even if I've rarely made more than superficial connections with people, people sometimes call me "an inspiration." I've even inspired people to pick up the piano. I want to keep doing that -- passing on the gift of art, showing people how beautiful the world can be. And outside of music, I still want to work at food pantries, volunteer, help my so-called friends, etc.
But it's impossible to sustain a life with high-flown ideals alone. When I'm not busy, dark thoughts start coming back. I think my mental health is going to slowly eat at me until one day, the police discover my body on the floor of my apartment, swarming with flies, a gun in my cold hand and a note on the table. I've generally come to accept it, but in the silence of early morning, when I watch the sun rise through the window, the thought comes back and crushes me.
>>11439
A happy, comfortable life has always been out of the question for me; the only hope I have left is that I may, at least, live meaningfully. Naturally, this cannot be expected to end well.
very curious about your life now. why is a happy comfortable life out of question for you. and what would living meaningfully look like
Anonymous :
9 days ago :
No.11448
>>11453
>>11449
It's okay, I've accepted it. I could have written nearly the same thing as >>11448, with some details changed.
I believe it is not wholly an inevitable condition; that is, it's not a psychological fault like a personality disorder, rather there is some element of society or culture that exasperates our condition. I'm not saying we're blameless, but I wonder if we would not have suffered so much in a different era.
>>11456>>11448
thanks for answering. would it bring you any solace if I told you I'm also suicidal? maybe that will make you feel less alone.
Like you, I also wish to make the world a better place. It's why I've chosen to continue to live, even if I can help only a few people in the world even if only in small pitiable ways, I will consider my existence worthwhile. The world is in a crisis and we need everyone to help so you should continue to stay like I am.
It know it gets really bad somedays but I hope you pull through. I would love to hear your music.
>>11441
>>11439
very curious about your life now. why is a happy comfortable life out of question for you. and what would living meaningfully look like
My life is really quite ordinary for someone on an imageboard. I have barely any friends or connections -- everyone apparently finds me repulsive and ghosts me for months on end. At the very best, they keep me around because they want to use me, and never ask how I'm doing. I don't think anyone would willingly come between ten feet of me.
The thing is, though, the one thing I care about more than anything is supporting and loving other people. I want to be there for them and talk about their problems with them; I want to explore their worlds, see what brings them joy, what they fear, what they dream of. Unconditional love is the one thing I strive for. Without that, my life collapses like a house of cards.
(Even if this weren't true, I've fought depression all my life, which makes things harder by a hundredfold.)
I still want to make the world a better place. I'm a pianist -- I want to inspire people with my art. Even if I've rarely made more than superficial connections with people, people sometimes call me "an inspiration." I've even inspired people to pick up the piano. I want to keep doing that -- passing on the gift of art, showing people how beautiful the world can be. And outside of music, I still want to work at food pantries, volunteer, help my so-called friends, etc.
But it's impossible to sustain a life with high-flown ideals alone. When I'm not busy, dark thoughts start coming back. I think my mental health is going to slowly eat at me until one day, the police discover my body on the floor of my apartment, swarming with flies, a gun in my cold hand and a note on the table. I've generally come to accept it, but in the silence of early morning, when I watch the sun rise through the window, the thought comes back and crushes me.
Anonymous :
9 days ago :
No.11449
>>11453
>>11449
It's okay, I've accepted it. I could have written nearly the same thing as >>11448, with some details changed.
I believe it is not wholly an inevitable condition; that is, it's not a psychological fault like a personality disorder, rather there is some element of society or culture that exasperates our condition. I'm not saying we're blameless, but I wonder if we would not have suffered so much in a different era.
Anonymous :
9 days ago :
No.11453
>>11462
>>11456
Thank you for hearing my side of the story -- not many people are willing. I hope you know there are at least a few out there who see and deeply appreciate the care and effort you give.
There is an irony in the fact that depression is what makes my music more beautiful. I choose heavier and heavier pieces to express myself, like Glinka's "The Lark" or Rachmaninoff's Third Concerto, and the spectacle only becomes more extraordinary (or so I'm told.) I often think my pain is a blessing in disguise, allowing me to lead a more vivid -- though harder -- existence than others, thus one more able to create purposeful art.
>>11453
I believe society really is more self-centered nowadays, more likely to view others as disposable, available for their own convenience. Part of it -- at least, here in the U.S. -- is because everyone's just trying to get ahead in the economy, in the great rat race, and they view that as more meaningful than social relationships. It's understandable but tragic.
I read a book some time ago. A study was conducted, across several decades, asking college students to rank their top ten values in life. "Compassion" was previously among the highest rankings; in recent years, it slid to the bottom, in favor of "hard work", "success", etc.
(If you'll humor another reference to a book, Dostoyevsky's "The Idiot" discusses this theme despite being written two hundred years ago. If things were bad then, I cannot imagine how disappointed the author would be with today's world.)
>>11449
>>11445
I am very sorry to hear that...
It's okay, I've accepted it. I could have written nearly the same thing as >>11448>>11441
My life is really quite ordinary for someone on an imageboard. I have barely any friends or connections -- everyone apparently finds me repulsive and ghosts me for months on end. At the very best, they keep me around because they want to use me, and never ask how I'm doing. I don't think anyone would willingly come between ten feet of me.
The thing is, though, the one thing I care about more than anything is supporting and loving other people. I want to be there for them and talk about their problems with them; I want to explore their worlds, see what brings them joy, what they fear, what they dream of. Unconditional love is the one thing I strive for. Without that, my life collapses like a house of cards.
(Even if this weren't true, I've fought depression all my life, which makes things harder by a hundredfold.)
I still want to make the world a better place. I'm a pianist -- I want to inspire people with my art. Even if I've rarely made more than superficial connections with people, people sometimes call me "an inspiration." I've even inspired people to pick up the piano. I want to keep doing that -- passing on the gift of art, showing people how beautiful the world can be. And outside of music, I still want to work at food pantries, volunteer, help my so-called friends, etc.
But it's impossible to sustain a life with high-flown ideals alone. When I'm not busy, dark thoughts start coming back. I think my mental health is going to slowly eat at me until one day, the police discover my body on the floor of my apartment, swarming with flies, a gun in my cold hand and a note on the table. I've generally come to accept it, but in the silence of early morning, when I watch the sun rise through the window, the thought comes back and crushes me.
, with some details changed.
I believe it is not wholly an inevitable condition; that is, it's not a psychological fault like a personality disorder, rather there is some element of society or culture that exasperates our condition. I'm not saying we're blameless, but I wonder if we would not have suffered so much in a different era.
I SHIT A HUGE LOAD OF CARROTS IN MY PANTS.
I HAVE ASKED STRANGERS ON THE STREET TO SHIT IN THEIR HOUSES AT LEAST TWICE.
Anonymous :
9 days ago :
No.11456
>>11462
>>11456
Thank you for hearing my side of the story -- not many people are willing. I hope you know there are at least a few out there who see and deeply appreciate the care and effort you give.
There is an irony in the fact that depression is what makes my music more beautiful. I choose heavier and heavier pieces to express myself, like Glinka's "The Lark" or Rachmaninoff's Third Concerto, and the spectacle only becomes more extraordinary (or so I'm told.) I often think my pain is a blessing in disguise, allowing me to lead a more vivid -- though harder -- existence than others, thus one more able to create purposeful art.
>>11453
I believe society really is more self-centered nowadays, more likely to view others as disposable, available for their own convenience. Part of it -- at least, here in the U.S. -- is because everyone's just trying to get ahead in the economy, in the great rat race, and they view that as more meaningful than social relationships. It's understandable but tragic.
I read a book some time ago. A study was conducted, across several decades, asking college students to rank their top ten values in life. "Compassion" was previously among the highest rankings; in recent years, it slid to the bottom, in favor of "hard work", "success", etc.
(If you'll humor another reference to a book, Dostoyevsky's "The Idiot" discusses this theme despite being written two hundred years ago. If things were bad then, I cannot imagine how disappointed the author would be with today's world.)
>>11448
>>11441
My life is really quite ordinary for someone on an imageboard. I have barely any friends or connections -- everyone apparently finds me repulsive and ghosts me for months on end. At the very best, they keep me around because they want to use me, and never ask how I'm doing. I don't think anyone would willingly come between ten feet of me.
The thing is, though, the one thing I care about more than anything is supporting and loving other people. I want to be there for them and talk about their problems with them; I want to explore their worlds, see what brings them joy, what they fear, what they dream of. Unconditional love is the one thing I strive for. Without that, my life collapses like a house of cards.
(Even if this weren't true, I've fought depression all my life, which makes things harder by a hundredfold.)
I still want to make the world a better place. I'm a pianist -- I want to inspire people with my art. Even if I've rarely made more than superficial connections with people, people sometimes call me "an inspiration." I've even inspired people to pick up the piano. I want to keep doing that -- passing on the gift of art, showing people how beautiful the world can be. And outside of music, I still want to work at food pantries, volunteer, help my so-called friends, etc.
But it's impossible to sustain a life with high-flown ideals alone. When I'm not busy, dark thoughts start coming back. I think my mental health is going to slowly eat at me until one day, the police discover my body on the floor of my apartment, swarming with flies, a gun in my cold hand and a note on the table. I've generally come to accept it, but in the silence of early morning, when I watch the sun rise through the window, the thought comes back and crushes me.
thanks for answering. would it bring you any solace if I told you I'm also suicidal? maybe that will make you feel less alone.
Like you, I also wish to make the world a better place. It's why I've chosen to continue to live, even if I can help only a few people in the world even if only in small pitiable ways, I will consider my existence worthwhile. The world is in a crisis and we need everyone to help so you should continue to stay like I am.
It know it gets really bad somedays but I hope you pull through. I would love to hear your music.
I am only interested in short-term hookups, and I have no desire to ever be in the company of a woman for a period of more than a few hours.
>>11456
>>11448
thanks for answering. would it bring you any solace if I told you I'm also suicidal? maybe that will make you feel less alone.
Like you, I also wish to make the world a better place. It's why I've chosen to continue to live, even if I can help only a few people in the world even if only in small pitiable ways, I will consider my existence worthwhile. The world is in a crisis and we need everyone to help so you should continue to stay like I am.
It know it gets really bad somedays but I hope you pull through. I would love to hear your music.
Thank you for hearing my side of the story -- not many people are willing. I hope you know there are at least a few out there who see and deeply appreciate the care and effort you give.
There is an irony in the fact that depression is what makes my music more beautiful. I choose heavier and heavier pieces to express myself, like Glinka's "The Lark" or Rachmaninoff's Third Concerto, and the spectacle only becomes more extraordinary (or so I'm told.) I often think my pain is a blessing in disguise, allowing me to lead a more vivid -- though harder -- existence than others, thus one more able to create purposeful art.
>>11453>>11449
It's okay, I've accepted it. I could have written nearly the same thing as >>11448, with some details changed.
I believe it is not wholly an inevitable condition; that is, it's not a psychological fault like a personality disorder, rather there is some element of society or culture that exasperates our condition. I'm not saying we're blameless, but I wonder if we would not have suffered so much in a different era.
I believe society really is more self-centered nowadays, more likely to view others as disposable, available for their own convenience. Part of it -- at least, here in the U.S. -- is because everyone's just trying to get ahead in the economy, in the great rat race, and they view that as more meaningful than social relationships. It's understandable but tragic.
I read a book some time ago. A study was conducted, across several decades, asking college students to rank their top ten values in life. "Compassion" was previously among the highest rankings; in recent years, it slid to the bottom, in favor of "hard work", "success", etc.
(If you'll humor another reference to a book, Dostoyevsky's "The Idiot" discusses this theme despite being written two hundred years ago. If things were bad then, I cannot imagine how disappointed the author would be with today's world.)
Why is my gender so fucking boring? Why can't we do cool shit like this
Anonymous :
5 days ago :
No.11510
>>11559
>>11510
I was in that exact same position before I dropped video games cold turkey and religiously committed to a weekly board game meetup for a few years. We play at one couple's house now, have pool parties, watch movies, go to baseball games together, etc. A dozen of us. Don't be a weirdo, remember why you're doing it, play what other people want to even if you don't, be patient and diligent. Most of the people are at public meetups are weirdos who cannot find anyone to play with them for myriad reasons, so you just sort of climb out of the muck gradually by chancing on less and less antisocial people and focusing on befriending them. Some people achieve this through the gym or a sport or religion, but the bottom line is that making friends requires a huge time commitment, repeated regular contact, and a reason to connect that is grounded in physical reality.
I'm so spectacularly lonely. I miss having people to talk to. In my 20s I had entire lists of online buddies and chatrooms that I chatted with constantly. I abandoned that world as I saw online friendships as not just fake and ephemeral but deception. But now I have nothing. I have considered messaging some old contacts out of desperation but I'm sure the stink of isolation will be obvious and it's not like we can just shoot the shit like we did fifteen years ago.
ya my soul is empty
and everything makes me nervous
maybe i just need to start walking outside more.
Anonymous :
2 days ago :
No.11559
>>11560
>>11559
"Just join a board game club to find friends" is the same as "play Tetris if you feel stressed", it's literally the same advice from reddit.
First off, board games are terribly boring for me. The rules are often pointlessly complex, requiring a lot of mental effort if you are new to the game, often just to never touch it again, and the themes are asinine, childish and cliche. If I liked them I would already be around others with that interest. To be frank, I don't mesh with the kind of person that is interested in board games. They are often uncultured, difficult to talk to or poor in conversational skills, and aren't interested in bonding over things outside of their personal interests. And being a woman, it will be an uphill fight if not entirely hopeless to try to sift actual friendship from men wowed that I am showing interest in their activity.
Second, that piece of advice has been spread so widely that people actually interested in that hobby are probably keen to newcomers who come only to socialize and aren't actually interested in the gaming itself. I've heard this from other hobbies like running clubs and so on. I want to socialize with people in the sense of sitting down with them for a coffee and catching up, not using a hobby as a proxy activity just to say that I was in the vicinity of other human beings.
This sort of hobby fetishism filling in as surrogate socialization strikes me as putting the cart before the horse. You should already have friends that are then interested in doing things together *such as* board gaming and not the other way around. This is just a weak attempt - not to mention sadly commercialized, market-driven - at regaining social bonds that once existed.
Coincidentally, since you replied to my post-- I did ended up messaging one of those old contacts and we shot the shit just like we did 15 years ago.
>>11510
I'm so spectacularly lonely. I miss having people to talk to. In my 20s I had entire lists of online buddies and chatrooms that I chatted with constantly. I abandoned that world as I saw online friendships as not just fake and ephemeral but deception. But now I have nothing. I have considered messaging some old contacts out of desperation but I'm sure the stink of isolation will be obvious and it's not like we can just shoot the shit like we did fifteen years ago.
I was in that exact same position before I dropped video games cold turkey and religiously committed to a weekly board game meetup for a few years. We play at one couple's house now, have pool parties, watch movies, go to baseball games together, etc. A dozen of us. Don't be a weirdo, remember why you're doing it, play what other people want to even if you don't, be patient and diligent. Most of the people are at public meetups are weirdos who cannot find anyone to play with them for myriad reasons, so you just sort of climb out of the muck gradually by chancing on less and less antisocial people and focusing on befriending them. Some people achieve this through the gym or a sport or religion, but the bottom line is that making friends requires a huge time commitment, repeated regular contact, and a reason to connect that is grounded in physical reality.
Anonymous :
2 days ago :
No.11560
>>11562
>>11560
I thought I was the only woman on here, no joke. we should be friends
anyway. as to your initial comment here, I agree. in the same situation. I have 2 close friends, one in my country one outside and I correspond with both only online. never even met the one who lives outside my country. I have many acquaintances, some that I even hang out with occassion but when we part ways after the evening I feel deflated, the way one would after witnessing an eclipse and wonder when the next would come. and also, these acquaintances are too hung up on affairs of their life. I'm not aiming for discussions about the deep and dark here but I need something more than did you watch this new show/movie. have you been to this new restaurant. did you see that new Instagram trend it's so funny hold on I'll show you.
also, I'm not autistic which i know because I can easily pick up on social cues but this does not prevent me from committing faux pas. it's just enough to not get me kicked out of group settings, that and to be perceived as kind of a weirdo but amusing. once you're registered as this you will be tolerated but you're not potential best friend material anymore.
you would think that being gen z would mean it's easier to be accepted despite the idiosyncrasies but it still feels like the regency period where you can feel yourself diminished in someone's eyes in real time when you say the wrong thing.
I think the intensity of the loneliness I feel is actually damaging my brain and it feels like I'm at point of not return, can someone bounce back after falling so low in companionship? the stink of isolation you mentioned, I think it's staying on me.
>>11578>>11560
It's like you didn't even read the past the first sentence. Everything you mention is either already addressed, wrong, or obvious to the point there's jargon I could tell you that would shortcut right past those pitfalls. But if you want to be alone badly to jump to conclusions this arrogantly, I won't stop you.
It's quite the feat to be friendless as a woman though. I would be *interested* to hear how you mismanaged life to get to that point.
>>11559
>>11510
I was in that exact same position before I dropped video games cold turkey and religiously committed to a weekly board game meetup for a few years. We play at one couple's house now, have pool parties, watch movies, go to baseball games together, etc. A dozen of us. Don't be a weirdo, remember why you're doing it, play what other people want to even if you don't, be patient and diligent. Most of the people are at public meetups are weirdos who cannot find anyone to play with them for myriad reasons, so you just sort of climb out of the muck gradually by chancing on less and less antisocial people and focusing on befriending them. Some people achieve this through the gym or a sport or religion, but the bottom line is that making friends requires a huge time commitment, repeated regular contact, and a reason to connect that is grounded in physical reality.
"Just join a board game club to find friends" is the same as "play Tetris if you feel stressed", it's literally the same advice from reddit.
First off, board games are terribly boring for me. The rules are often pointlessly complex, requiring a lot of mental effort if you are new to the game, often just to never touch it again, and the themes are asinine, childish and cliche. If I liked them I would already be around others with that interest. To be frank, I don't mesh with the kind of person that is interested in board games. They are often uncultured, difficult to talk to or poor in conversational skills, and aren't interested in bonding over things outside of their personal interests. And being a woman, it will be an uphill fight if not entirely hopeless to try to sift actual friendship from men wowed that I am showing interest in their activity.
Second, that piece of advice has been spread so widely that people actually interested in that hobby are probably keen to newcomers who come only to socialize and aren't actually interested in the gaming itself. I've heard this from other hobbies like running clubs and so on. I want to socialize with people in the sense of sitting down with them for a coffee and catching up, not using a hobby as a proxy activity just to say that I was in the vicinity of other human beings.
This sort of hobby fetishism filling in as surrogate socialization strikes me as putting the cart before the horse. You should already have friends that are then interested in doing things together *such as* board gaming and not the other way around. This is just a weak attempt - not to mention sadly commercialized, market-driven - at regaining social bonds that once existed.
Coincidentally, since you replied to my post-- I did ended up messaging one of those old contacts and we shot the shit just like we did 15 years ago.
Sorry for saying "interested" so much, I realize I should have reworded that comment quite a bit
>>11560
>>11559
"Just join a board game club to find friends" is the same as "play Tetris if you feel stressed", it's literally the same advice from reddit.
First off, board games are terribly boring for me. The rules are often pointlessly complex, requiring a lot of mental effort if you are new to the game, often just to never touch it again, and the themes are asinine, childish and cliche. If I liked them I would already be around others with that interest. To be frank, I don't mesh with the kind of person that is interested in board games. They are often uncultured, difficult to talk to or poor in conversational skills, and aren't interested in bonding over things outside of their personal interests. And being a woman, it will be an uphill fight if not entirely hopeless to try to sift actual friendship from men wowed that I am showing interest in their activity.
Second, that piece of advice has been spread so widely that people actually interested in that hobby are probably keen to newcomers who come only to socialize and aren't actually interested in the gaming itself. I've heard this from other hobbies like running clubs and so on. I want to socialize with people in the sense of sitting down with them for a coffee and catching up, not using a hobby as a proxy activity just to say that I was in the vicinity of other human beings.
This sort of hobby fetishism filling in as surrogate socialization strikes me as putting the cart before the horse. You should already have friends that are then interested in doing things together *such as* board gaming and not the other way around. This is just a weak attempt - not to mention sadly commercialized, market-driven - at regaining social bonds that once existed.
Coincidentally, since you replied to my post-- I did ended up messaging one of those old contacts and we shot the shit just like we did 15 years ago.
I thought I was the only woman on here, no joke. we should be friends
anyway. as to your initial comment here, I agree. in the same situation. I have 2 close friends, one in my country one outside and I correspond with both only online. never even met the one who lives outside my country. I have many acquaintances, some that I even hang out with occassion but when we part ways after the evening I feel deflated, the way one would after witnessing an eclipse and wonder when the next would come. and also, these acquaintances are too hung up on affairs of their life. I'm not aiming for discussions about the deep and dark here but I need something more than did you watch this new show/movie. have you been to this new restaurant. did you see that new Instagram trend it's so funny hold on I'll show you.
also, I'm not autistic which i know because I can easily pick up on social cues but this does not prevent me from committing faux pas. it's just enough to not get me kicked out of group settings, that and to be perceived as kind of a weirdo but amusing. once you're registered as this you will be tolerated but you're not potential best friend material anymore.
you would think that being gen z would mean it's easier to be accepted despite the idiosyncrasies but it still feels like the regency period where you can feel yourself diminished in someone's eyes in real time when you say the wrong thing.
I think the intensity of the loneliness I feel is actually damaging my brain and it feels like I'm at point of not return, can someone bounce back after falling so low in companionship? the stink of isolation you mentioned, I think it's staying on me.
I should have let my ex kill me.
Once I caught a frog and then threw it against a tree and cut it in half with a plastic knife
Anonymous :
2 days ago :
No.11578
>>11580
>>11578
There's nothing arrogant about not being interested in tabletop gaming. Sorry I insulted your hobby but it's not for everyone.
>>11590
>>11560
>>11559
"Just join a board game club to find friends" is the same as "play Tetris if you feel stressed", it's literally the same advice from reddit.
First off, board games are terribly boring for me. The rules are often pointlessly complex, requiring a lot of mental effort if you are new to the game, often just to never touch it again, and the themes are asinine, childish and cliche. If I liked them I would already be around others with that interest. To be frank, I don't mesh with the kind of person that is interested in board games. They are often uncultured, difficult to talk to or poor in conversational skills, and aren't interested in bonding over things outside of their personal interests. And being a woman, it will be an uphill fight if not entirely hopeless to try to sift actual friendship from men wowed that I am showing interest in their activity.
Second, that piece of advice has been spread so widely that people actually interested in that hobby are probably keen to newcomers who come only to socialize and aren't actually interested in the gaming itself. I've heard this from other hobbies like running clubs and so on. I want to socialize with people in the sense of sitting down with them for a coffee and catching up, not using a hobby as a proxy activity just to say that I was in the vicinity of other human beings.
This sort of hobby fetishism filling in as surrogate socialization strikes me as putting the cart before the horse. You should already have friends that are then interested in doing things together *such as* board gaming and not the other way around. This is just a weak attempt - not to mention sadly commercialized, market-driven - at regaining social bonds that once existed.
Coincidentally, since you replied to my post-- I did ended up messaging one of those old contacts and we shot the shit just like we did 15 years ago.
It's like you didn't even read the past the first sentence. Everything you mention is either already addressed, wrong, or obvious to the point there's jargon I could tell you that would shortcut right past those pitfalls. But if you want to be alone badly to jump to conclusions this arrogantly, I won't stop you.
It's quite the feat to be friendless as a woman though. I would be *interested* to hear how you mismanaged life to get to that point.
Anonymous :
2 days ago :
No.11580
>>11595
>>11580
No one said you had to like the hobby and other examples were offered from the initial comment. What was described as arrogant was your jumping to conclusions.
>>11590
>reddit
>terribly boring
>pointlessly
>asinine, childish, and cliche
>uncultured
>difficult to talk to
>poor in conversational skills
>using a hobby as a proxy activity
>hobby fetishism
>surrogate socialization
>weak
>sadly commercialized, market-driven
This apparently illiterate broad expressed woe and was met with a sincere attempt to help. She can eat like 1% of what she decided to dish out against that.
>>11578
>>11560
It's like you didn't even read the past the first sentence. Everything you mention is either already addressed, wrong, or obvious to the point there's jargon I could tell you that would shortcut right past those pitfalls. But if you want to be alone badly to jump to conclusions this arrogantly, I won't stop you.
It's quite the feat to be friendless as a woman though. I would be *interested* to hear how you mismanaged life to get to that point.
There's nothing arrogant about not being interested in tabletop gaming. Sorry I insulted your hobby but it's not for everyone.
Anonymous :
1 day ago :
No.11590
>>11595
>>11580
No one said you had to like the hobby and other examples were offered from the initial comment. What was described as arrogant was your jumping to conclusions.
>>11590
>reddit
>terribly boring
>pointlessly
>asinine, childish, and cliche
>uncultured
>difficult to talk to
>poor in conversational skills
>using a hobby as a proxy activity
>hobby fetishism
>surrogate socialization
>weak
>sadly commercialized, market-driven
This apparently illiterate broad expressed woe and was met with a sincere attempt to help. She can eat like 1% of what she decided to dish out against that.
>>11588
>>11587
I think we've heard enough of these for one thread.
i think they punctuate the “i’m so lonely”s nicely tbqh
>>11578>>11560
It's like you didn't even read the past the first sentence. Everything you mention is either already addressed, wrong, or obvious to the point there's jargon I could tell you that would shortcut right past those pitfalls. But if you want to be alone badly to jump to conclusions this arrogantly, I won't stop you.
It's quite the feat to be friendless as a woman though. I would be *interested* to hear how you mismanaged life to get to that point.
you’re a real piece of work man
>>11580
>>11578
There's nothing arrogant about not being interested in tabletop gaming. Sorry I insulted your hobby but it's not for everyone.
No one said you had to like the hobby and other examples were offered from the initial comment. What was described as arrogant was your jumping to conclusions.
>>11590
>reddit
>terribly boring
>pointlessly
>asinine, childish, and cliche
>uncultured
>difficult to talk to
>poor in conversational skills
>using a hobby as a proxy activity
>hobby fetishism
>surrogate socialization
>weak
>sadly commercialized, market-driven
This apparently illiterate broad expressed woe and was met with a sincere attempt to help. She can eat like 1% of what she decided to dish out against that.
I WEAR THE SAME PAIR OF BOXERS EVERY DAY
AND NOTHING ELSE
AND I DO NOT CLOSE THE CURTAINS
AND THE BOXERS HAVE PISS STAINS.